disguise

this is not what i wanted
cause i actually wanna be something real
i'm not cloud
i'm not dark
i'm not silence
i just a girl with so indecisive
bored to hide but shy to show
what about my dream?
i think it's not important for anybody
cause they just see me outside
and i'm afraid to tell the truth
yes, i used to disguise
it's not me or myself
i still don't understand
what's my life for?
and where i have to go
i can't see a light in front of me
did i wrong? would like somebody tell me?
so long, longtime, i was so dumb
maybe they think, i am lazy
and i starting to know
how this feeling happen
when nobody trustin'
lost everything
lost control
so lonely
i feel that the world turn slowly
life is misery
and i used to disguise
flying a sweet smile in my lips
under my tears
cause i don't know how suppose to be
what i want
what you want
and what they want
and i still disguise
i never sad or cry
i never angry or madness
sometimes, unexpresive is better
i don't want to hurt
but i already hurt with my life
i will still disguise
until the end of time